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On this season of MTV’s Jersey Shore, the cast escapes a blustery winter on the Shore and migrates south, shacking up at the Metropole South Beach in Miami. The 42-suite boutique property did not accept reservations “due to high demand” while the show was filming earlier this year, but now that Jersey Shore has returned to, well, the Jersey Shore, the hotel is open for business once again. So if you’re planning a hair-gelling, GTL-ing, fist-pumping good time, here’s the situation you can expect to find at the Metropole.

Check out our photos of the Metropole South Beach!

One- and two- bedroom suites

The cast’s suite on the show is outfitted with cramped (and action-packed) bedrooms with a twin bed for each of the housemates. Luckily, the other apartment-style suites in the hotel have separate bedrooms with queen and king beds.

Pauly D, Vinny, Roonie, and the Situation lounged in their living room wearing the “shirt before the shirt” — a black or white tank top that was switched out for a t-shirt right before leaving the apartment. All of the suites at the hotel have living rooms equipped with 42-inch plasma TVs.

The bathrooms at the hotel offer Gilchrist & Soames bath products, but the poorly designed showers leak water onto the floor. All of the doors in the apartments — including the bathroom door — are translucent. This feature allowed the cast to ogle over JWoww’s naked body through the bathroom door.

Full kitchens

Vinny called Snooki a “walking disaster” after she opened the refrigerator door in her full kitchen, causing the housemates’ dinner to fall to the floor… and splatter onto her slippers. We believe that this incident could have been avoided if Snooki had removed her $395 rhinestone-studded sunglasses before scavenging for food.

Pool and garden

An explosive catfight between Snooki, JWoww, and Angelina — wherein JWoww advises Angelina to “sleep with one eye open” — took place in the hotel’s pool and garden area. When we visited, the space had not been outfitted with blue astroturf, nor did it have a grill. In the show, it appears that the cast has full reign over this area.

The hotel’s pool is teeny tiny, and the raised hot tub featured in the show must have come and gone with the cast — the property does not currently have a hot tub.

Gym, tanning, and laundry facilities

Unfortunately, the Metropole has none of the amenities necessary for practicing GTL on a daily basis, like the Situation recommends. However, a gym, a spa, and a laundromat can be found within blocks of the property. The gelato shop that employed these Italian stallions and the tattoo parlor that spent four hours crafting Ronnie’s newest tat are also nearby. Like, ya know?