A playful maritime theme is evident upon arrival at the hotel, with its row of portholes over the front door and a wavy facade. It may not inspire vision of a stylish retreat in the minds of most, but once inside, this hotel has a very different vibe. A bright and uncluttered lobby is elegantly arranged with chic, contemporary furnishings and lighting, though pieces of driftwood artwork remind everyone of the hotel's proximity to the sea. The stylish, modern feel extends throughout the property, with smart, wood-panel hallways and grounds that are -- while light on lush tropical elements -- tastefully landscaped with panoramic views over the Atlantic Ocean. The sophisticated, minimalist ambience attracts very few families with kid. Instead, expect to see well-heeled, slightly older couples with an eye for clean design. 

The hotel is located in the Lido neighborhood of Funchal, comprising of a mixture of residential buildings, hotels, and a few eateries. While not perched dramatically on a cliff like some local hotels, the Melia Madeira is set on a sloping hillside with excellent sea views. There's also direct access to the pleasant Lido Promenade that runs along the coast, and the pebble beach of Praia do Gorgulho is just a minute away on foot. Funchal's historic center, with its pretty streets and numerous restaurants, bars, and cafes, is around 10 to 15 minutes by car. Madeira Airport will take 20 to 25 minutes to reach by car.

The hotel has 220 rooms, all of which are decorated in muted tones with contemporary furnishings, carpeted floors, and splashes of purple velvet. While modern and well-maintained, the finish doesn't live up to the hotel's luxury claims. There's nothing in the way of all art in most rooms, and we saw plenty of twin beds pushed together to make larger beds in many rooms. Sliding glass doors open to balconies or terraces in all rooms, the vast majority of which have at least partial sea views (only 21 rooms here have garden views). Upgraded rooms tend to be higher up in the hotel, with lounge chairs on the balconies and panoramic sea views. Amenities are good, offering minibars, electric kettles, and 37-inch flat-screen TVs. Wi-Fi is free and the signal is strong in most rooms. White and pale-green tiled bathrooms include Melia-brand toiletries, bathrobes, and hairdryers; some showers are walk-in units while others are fixed over tubs. Suites with kitchenettes or full kitchens are also available. Safes come as standard along with individually controlled air-conditioning. 

Given its high-end brand-name status, it's not surprising that there are a number of reliable features on offer at this hotel. There's little to find fault with in the hotel's buffet breakfast, which includes a good spread of hot and cold dishes, though it's only included in some rates. The Mare Nostrum restaurant offers a buffet dinner (international and local cuisine) over the summer -- it's served a la carte in low season -- while Il Massimo eatery serves a la carte menus with Madeiran flavors and opens to an alfresco, poolside terrace. There's also an informal bar-restaurant offering lunch and light meals, and a lobby bar with sea views. 

An outdoor pool provides fine sea views and sun loungers -- these go fast during busier times, though the Nini Deck terrace offers additional seating and daybeds. Even more loungers can be found surrounding the heated indoor pool, which also includes a poolside whirlpool tub. Particularly impressive is the hotel's Malo Clinic Spa, providing deluxe facilities such as flotation tanks and state-of-the-art treatments, including hydromassage. There is a fee to access the spa complex. The gym is large, modern, and well-equipped with cardio and weight machines. There's not much for kids here beyond the splash pool.

A pair of computers is available in the lobby, and the convention center holds up to 400 people for corporate events. Self-parking is free, as is Wi-Fi.